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The Struggles of A Young Mom

Each one of my pregnancies became beautiful and dynamic in its own way. With my first born the thought of having someone to call my own gave me chill bumps. A gorgeous little person growing inside of me that would call me mommy! The only downside is that I was young. Too young to be having a child. So, with that pregnancy I didn’t receive the normal treatment pregnant women usually receive. No attention or excitement. I was an outsider in my own world.

All I can remember is how everyone was so mean to me. When I walked into a room people stared with disgust, disappointment or pure shock. Honestly, it could have been all those feelings mixed in one. As the time went by the judgement and hatred only grew. I couldn’t walk around the mall without older ladies stopping to look at my baby then walking away with snickering remarks. I hated taking my daughter to soccer practice because I dreaded being around the other parents. How old are you? How old is your child? And every other question after that became more and more insulting as the practice went on.

Apart of me wanted to give up and run. Possibility abandon my life.

But the Lord transformed me though the whole process. Eventually my skin became tough. I was used to defending myself as well as my child against this judgmental world. I learned transparency because the same people giving me stares eventually told me stories. Stories about how they wish they had the courage to go through with having their child. I started as the talk of conversation to being the only listening ear in their time of need.

My daughter made me nurturing, patient, and motivated. She gave me determination not to become another statistic and led me to graduating with honors. But most of all she contributed to my purpose in this world. Having her was the hardest, most rewarding accomplishment of my life. I thank God for her and the journey. ❤

 

Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

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Rejoice in the Strength

Remember when you were able to raise your head high? I thought to myself as the taste of blood stained my braces. At that moment I came to the realization that I was no better than the girls I use to judge. The girls that were hurt, abused, and disrespected became a reflection of myself. Isn’t it funny how we are so quick to judge other individuals? Constant self reminders of what we would and would not do – only to become a victim of our own criticism.

It’s  never funny when the tables turn. 

Like many Princesses before myself,  I had to kiss a couple of frogs before I reached my Prince. It just so happen that this frog wanted to destroy my peace. The type of person who felt like hurting you wasn’t enough. He wanted to destroy my purpose on this earth. How foolish can my heart be to allow someone like this so close to me? But it wasn’t hard. He turned family into strangers, friends into enemies until I was alone…..with just him. The devil always isolates you.

That was the darkest time of my life. I don’t know if it was God’s favour or possibly my grandmother prayers but I was able to make it out of that situation with minor scars. The Lord had to humble my mind and protect my heart for me to become the woman I am today. I rejoice in the testimony. I look back at those weakest moments of my life and rejoice in the strength it has given me. For whoever is reading this I speak life within your darkest moments and I pray for discernment over each and every decision you make. ❤

 

Psalm 23:4

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

God’s Plan

I didn’t know her strength, honestly. At the time I had given birth two times already with a new baby growing inside of me. Pregnancy and childbirth became a familiar experience but I just watched my cousin give birth to twin boys Kingdom and Kingsley then watched them pass seconds later. How? Why? I couldn’t understand my reality at that moment – I don’t think she did either.

I walked out that hospital room and cried until my eyes couldn’t produce tears anymore. My phoned ranged from concerned family members only to advise them there isn’t a baby to take home. That night my whole family was hurt, there was nothing we could do or say to make the situation change but we prayed.

“Lord I ask for you to be with us today, as we ask of you everyday. Lord forgive us for our sins and listen to our cry. Lord we ask for your protection, healing, and strength during this time. For Lord we know not your plan but we give you the glory and the thanks in advance. Lord if you don’t do anything else we know that you have done enough but we know that you are a loving God, Lord we ask of you to just make this make sense.” -Amen

I’ve always been a strong believer that prayer works.

I later discovered that her cervix was too small to carry twins making her go into pre-term labor at 23 weeks. Six weeks later she became pregnant with a little boy. She had a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. She named him Kingdom. Kingdom is such a beautiful and vibrant baby who currently has a baby brother on the way…Kingsley.

What an awesome God we serve. For when we think we are forsaken, he comes and restores with his plan.

Kingsley I’m so happy you are back. Can’t wait to see you again. ❤

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Should You Marry Young?

Getting married is a huge step at any stage of your life. There isn’t a time limit or preparation that can prepare you for another person. You either can see yourself with that person for the rest of your life or you can’t. The concept is quite simple. Some people may discover the answer sooner than later but no need to criticize that couple for coming into that realization at a young age. The most common myth is that you have to find yourself before you tie the knot. This myth is hilarious because it usually comes from the same people that would like someone to build with and to learn from.

So, how long does it take for you to find yourself?

As if you are not evolving day by day…

I had to learn that marriage does not come with a timeframe the day I said I do. I remember the rush of excitement like butterflies everywhere. My hands was clammy from sweat, my face was aching because I couldn’t stop smiling. But most of all my heart was filled with joy because the man I loved wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He was 23 at the time and I was 24 but somehow our age was never a deciding factor on our love or commitment for one another. However, when we came home the backlash was haunting. Yes, we had positive feedback but the “Why so soon?” and the “What’s the rush?” began drowning out the congratulations. Especially when it came from people we loved.

That night I felt hurt and confused. I didn’t understand why some people didn’t accept our happiness. My husband sat next to me and explained “I married you because I love you and God told me you are my wife. If God told me that who else approval would we need.” At that moment I knew that no timeline would change our love and no outside force can speak upon my life…..at any moment of my life.

Getting married is a commitment between you and the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with. Make every moment with that person count rather it’s at the age 19 or 75. Love is Love

Ecclesiastes 3:11

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

 

 

God’s Hints

Sometimes we get so discouraged on the gifts that we carry. Many times we believe maybe it’s all in our head or maybe our gift is not necessarily a gift from God. Discourage have killed businesses, torn degrees, and even ruin lives. But your gift from God should make you happy and give you purpose. Something that when you speak about it butterflies run around your body, then all of  a sudden you get a warmth feeling of comfort because it’s your calling. That’s how I feel about writing.

Recently there has been a gap in my writing because of midterms and I felt bad about that. However, during midterms one of them consisted of a written response that had to be about 3 or 4 pages long. This portion brought me a sense of ease because writing is something that I’m passionate about.

Now a week has passed and its defiantly time for me to blog again yet I still couldn’t grasp that drive that use to always be inside of me until I received my grade and professor response from the midterm paper.

An extremely well organized, developed, and written response paper. Probably one of the best I have read to date. I most especially appreciated you sharing your experiences in working as a Patient Assess Rep, and your reference to your company offering an EAP for their employees and loved ones.

Please let me know if I can use your paper as an example with future classes. If so, please communicate back via email with attaching your paper again to the message.

Most impressive

It’s possible that she may have said nice things to all her students. Still, this meant a lot to me because I began to feel discouraged before receiving this response. However, when the Lord has a plan over your life and your gift he will send these reminders of who you are. It’s important that we take these hints and reminders from God and don’t take it in vain.

I don’t know who is reading this or if this message meant anything to you. But the Lord told me to write it as a hint for YOU, to keep pursuing your gift in the Lord’s name. You will be victorious!

Habakkuk 2:3

For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end – it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.

Glitter

Social media is cliché. It’s a pretty cliché wrapped with a bow, sprinkled with glitter – that is believed to be gold. But yet, powerful enough to destroy families, end relationships, and tarnish reputations. We live in a generation that can read something on social media and presume it to be true under any bias! What happen to our education?

I’ve learned people get caught up in the hype of social media simply because it has the power to capture everything that person wants you to see. Their best clothes, best pictures, and assume their life to be perfect. Then misinformed individuals will  compare their relationship to a “social media relationship” and lose a real person based off of an illusion that the internet has given them.

Everything that glitters isn’t gold!

Never lose your authenticity for anyone or anything. Life isn’t about filters or tags. It’s about being true to yourself and who you’re called to be. Trying to keep up with social media, you will always feel like your losing a race that never began.

Proverbs 18:1

Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.

via Daily Prompt: Glitter

 

Valentines

This is a very exciting time of the year for people to spend time with their sweetheart. For me Valentine’s Day is also my middle son Amir’s birthday! Of course I would have loved to spend the day getting pampered by my husband, but I had to make sure my son feels as special on his day as he is to me. In my household we take birthdays very seriously so Valentines meant that my Prince received everything he wanted and more. However, towards the end of the day it became a hassle. Amir wanted to go home and play with his toys but I kept thinking of things we could do to make the most of his birthday. He already had his party with cake and ice cream, spent time with his friends, so it isn’t that he wanted more…. more so that I did. My husband kept asking what did I want to do later that night but all I could think about is Amir. So actually spending time with my husband on sweethearts day never registered in my head and this is because I didn’t balance it correctly.

Being a wife and a mother can be hard to juggle. If too much attention is given to your children your husband starts to feel alone and vice versa. Why couldn’t I have went home called a baby sitter and went out with my husband? Would that have been too much to ask?

Too often we get caught up on what we feel is right instead of what is actually the right thing to do. I should have shown my son the best birthday and showed my husband that on this sweethearts day he is my ultimate Valentine, choosing my time wisely and balancing my scale evenly.

Remember show endless love and prayer works!

Ephesians 5:15             

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,